You know how last week I prayed to be a better pug? Well I think God was on vacation or something because I'm in trouble again. I tried to eat a battery. How was I supposed to know batteries were a big no?! Besides I get bored when Mom gets in the shower. Lincoln sits by the bathroom door, waiting on Mom to get out. Shower time = explore time. What has Mom left out that I can eat?
Besides I don't know what the big deal is about the battery. I was just carrying it around in my mouth, it only had a few teeth marks on it. Mom has put everything up high now where I can't reach it. However, she left a bag of pasta on the kitchen table. Usually I can't get on the kitchen table because Mom turns all the chairs around so I can't use them as stepping stones to get on the table. My awesome Uncle Travis turned one of the chairs around though, so while Mom was taking another shower (humans take so many baths...I wonder why they don't take one every two weeks like me?) I broke into the bag of raw pasta. Now some people would think raw pasta noodles would taste as good as that battery did. Wrong. It was fantastic and I got it all to myself since Lincoln was still waiting by the bathroom door.
Unfortunately, raw pasta made my tummy hurt and I puked most of it up. Which is almost as bad as getting spanked, which I also got. Mom is really unhappy with my eating habits. Now I get locked up every time she takes a shower. Life is so unfair.
Today is our 100th post and Valentines Day. What could go wrong? Uh huh, someone(s) got into Mom's bread tonight for Valentine's Day while she was in the shower this morning.... It could have just been a really large mouse...
Mom is totally not buying the large mouse theory. In fact, she's furious. She is talking about shipping us somewhere. And then she locked us up...
I think we look very sorry for eating the sea salt and rosemary rolls.
Well at least Lincoln is very sorry. He's following Mom around and keeping his tail uncurled.
Me, on the other hand....I'm only kind of sorry. Sorry I got caught. Those rolls were good.
Happy Valentines Day! Hope you all got in far less trouble than we did this morning...
My name is Lincoln and I'm a rescue. No one really knows my story but me. All they know is that I was chained (from the raw marks on my neck) and had been left on the side of the road. I didn't even really look like a pug when they found me. I was skinny and an unrecognizable pug color until Mom took the time to give me a bath. If someone sneezes too loud I get scared. I get anxious if I can't see one of my "people." Grandma and Mom always tell me to tell my story. My "before" story. I try everyday but no one seems to understand "dog speak." So I've included a video. Please someone translate for Mom.
P.S. Minnie is the small, obnoxious dog in the video trying to attack me as I have my panic attack trying to talk. Furthermore, when she didn't get any attention, she ran off and was getting into Mom's bag as I continued to "talk."